Selah's Story

Age 3

2009-05-27T08:25:00.001-07:00

Selah enjoys being baby Lucy's big sister. She also loves pretty dresses, reading and playing with her brothers. When Mommy and Daddy allow it, she enjoys playing with pbskids on the computer.

America World Adoption Association

2007-06-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

For any of you who are considering the possibility of adopting internationally, we would highly recommend our adoption agency--America World. We believe they are some of the best in business at taking care of families who are adopting. Their good care was particularly evident to us as we waited for our referral. Compared to other agencies out there, their communication was frequent and accurate. They did a great job of telling us only what they knew to be true, and were careful to avoid unnecessary speculation. When you're waiting for your child, believe me, you don't need to have your expectations raised falsely.

We also believe they are some of the best in the business in maintaining and developing healthy relationships with the governments of the countries in which they work. Those good relationships matter to you as adoptive parents. Furthermore, we were thoroughly impressed with our experience in-country. America World's guides are the best! They went above and beyond the call of duty to insure that we had the best possible experience.

Finally, we have been thrilled with our America World social worker Amber Lewis. She has been a wealth of information for us. While she is thoroughly professional in what she does, she is also passionate about adoption. She will do everything in her power to help families adopt orphans around the world. If you are considering international adoption, you need to check out America World!

Seven Months

2007-06-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

Selah has experienced relatively few difficulties attaching to our family. She has bonded well with Jennifer, myself, and our two boys. We attribute that largely to the fact that she was in foster care for most of her life prior to our adopting her. It seems very apparent that her foster mom cared for her very well. It's hard to believe that she was with her foster mom longer than she has been with us up to this point. Already by this point she is part of our family. How excruciating it must have been for her foster mom to let her go.

While attachment hasn't been much of an issue so far, Selah continues to be plagued with minor illness. She hasn't had any serious health problem, but she has been almost constantly sick with flu and cold-like symptoms. Since she has been with us, her longest stretch of being well has been about three weeks. We were hoping that summer might bring less sickness, but just a couple of days ago she again became sick. Our pediatrician and adoption social worker tell us this isn't unusual for internationally adopted children.

Meanwhile there is no doubt that she is Easton and Jonas' little sister. They act like normal siblings. Last night our friends the Futrells watched them while Jennifer and I went out. When we went to pick them up, Selah had already fallen asleep. As we were getting ready to leave, Jonas started to become concerned. He asked Jennifer, "Is Selah coming with us?" Jennifer joked that maybe the Futrells would like to keep her. Jonas promptly responded, "No, she's ours!"

The Wonders of Language

2007-06-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

We recently went back to St. Louis to attend our friend Jenny's wedding. We are really excited for Jenny, and it was a beautiful wedding. Together with several other friends, we have been praying that the Lord would provide her with a godly husband. He has done just that! It was great to see so many friends from St. Louis.

One morning after the wedding we ran into Jenny's mom in our hotel around breakfast time. She began to speak to Selah in Chinese. Other Chinese friends have tried to speak to Selah with no apparent response on her part. But she really took to Jenny's mom--there was definitely some kind of connection. In Chinese Mrs. Huang asked Selah if her breakfast was good. Selah responded by saying, "good" in English. As Mrs. Huang said other things in Chinese, Selah likewise answered in English. Apparently she still remembers at least some of her Chinese. Knowing she still remembers her Chinese makes us want to expose her further to the language. If only Mrs. Huang lived in Oklahoma City and not Chicago!

St. Louis & Home

2007-06-01T13:58:00.001-07:00

1st Birthday

2007-01-13T13:53:00.000-08:00

Selah's Baptism

2007-01-09T15:24:00.000-08:00

Selah's Baptism

2006-12-05T08:03:00.000-08:00

We are filled with joy to announce that Selah will be baptized this Sunday, December 10th at the 8:30a.m. worship service at Heritage. There's no better welcome to the visible church.

Final Shots of Guangzhou & Home Sweet Home

2006-11-30T15:20:00.000-08:00

We're Home Sweet Home

2006-11-30T13:50:00.000-08:00

After about 24 hours of travel we are home. And it feels great. Selah did pretty well on the flights. She slept for a 5 hour stretch on our 10 hour flight from Tokyo to Minnesota. After we cleared immigration at the Minnesota airport Selah became an official US citizen. I got a little teary as we walked through the glass doors that welcomed Selah as an American. But it was short lived as we had to get a cart and all our luggage to take through customs before checking it through again to Oklahoma.

We were so tired as we got home last night, but seeing our sweet boys was just wonderful. I think I realize now more than when we were in China just how much I missed them. That's good though. The Lord was gracious to us in that, but I cannot imagine getting on a plane and leaving them again for two weeks any time soon.

Selah is full of smiles for Easton and Jonas. They really like playing with her and she seems to have made herself right at home. She had a bit of trouble sleeping last night, but nighttime here has been her daytime her entire life. We cut her some slack and let her sleep in bed with us last night. We tried to get her to sleep in the pack and play touching our bed for more than 2 hours last night, but it was a no-go. We were half-asleep chasing her around the bed throughout the night. We feel pretty well rested today though.

Shawn will post some pictures later today if he finds time. I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but thank you again for your prayers. We were aware that every step of this journey was covered in prayer. What peace our Father in heaven brings. Praise Him for the church! There were times that we were just too tired or too distracted to pray as we ought. Thank you for praying for us. We can't wait for Selah to meet you all.

Random Reflections

2006-11-28T04:12:00.000-08:00

Jennifer has been our designated blogger during the trip. Between a busy schedule, a busy baby, and the need for sleep, there's hardly enough time for two to blog. But I did want to record some of my reflections regarding our time in China.

First of all I've been very impressed with the Chinese people. Almost without exception, the people we have met here have been kind, respectful, honest, and have gone out of their way to help us. I've been struck by the pride they have in their country, history, and culture--and rightfully so. Our guides, Rosa and Maggie, have worked their tails off for us. In general the people here seem to be very hard working. In fact, by far the best service we had on our flights has been China Air.

As Jennifer mentioned in an earlier post, I have enjoyed the food here. Besides us, not many in our travel group have actually enjoyed it. Tonight I refused to let Jennifer eat at McDonald's. I figure its our last night in China so we must eat Chinese. I think our guides have tried to cater somewhat to our American tastes. I've really longed to sit down with a Chinese friend and just have him order several dishes of whatever he would eat. Our guides don't eat with us. I'm not exactly sure why. Someone said it's because they're working for us, and therefore it's not considered proper to eat with us.

The language is beautiful. A friend from church, Isaac Harley, spent a good bit of time in China and came back to the U.S. with a love for the language, and a strong desire to continue learning it. I understand that much better now than I did before. Maggie told Jennifer she thinks Chinese should be a very easy language to learn. Easy for her to say.

The length of our trip has probably been about right considering that we're away from the boys for so long. However, I think I could have spent a little more time in Beijing. There's so much to see there that reflects the rich (and long) history of China. Both Nanning and Guangzhou have been physically beautiful. Since they both are basically tropical cities, the plants and flowers are striking. It's sort of amazing to have the rich floral beauty in the heavily urban environment of Guangzhou.

Today we made our visit to the American Consulate. The consulate has been processing Selah's visa (she'll be traveling on a Chinese passport). So we picked up her visa, and had a swearing-in ceremony. We swore that all the information we have submitted to the American government concerning Selah's adoption is true. People clapped at the end of the ceremony because it's the last thing we have to do for the adoption--on this trip anyway. Once we get through customs in the U.S. she will be a U.S. citizen.

Tonight after eating our room service Chinese (its a bit challenging with Selah in the restaurants--remember, no high chairs), we set off for a tea house just down the street and around the corner from our hotel. We decided to blow our last few Yuan on tea, and have one final cultural experience in China. We bought some tea to take back to the States. While they were packing our tea, they served us an incredible ginseng tea. I'm kicking myself because although we bought a good bit of tea, we didn't get any of that ginseng.

Anyway, tea is an important part of the culture, and there's a very interesting ritual to tea drinking. We sat at stools around the tea table. There's a whole process of cleaning the cup with water, and then cleaning a second time with tea. The tea table is made of wood, and has a kind of grill to allow tea and water to drain from the top surface. The draining is necessary because when the tea is poured, the server doesn't stop pouring until all the cups have been filled, or the tea runs out. The cups are all very small, and hold just enough tea for one large swallow. The cups get filled several times. We had a great time at the tea house, not only because the tea was so good, but also because the whole process is so very relaxing.

We have to get up early tomorrow morning for our flight, so I'd better sign off for now. Once again we thank you so much for your prayers, and we look forward to seeing many of you very soon.

And our trip continues

2006-11-27T05:59:00.001-08:00

On Sunday morning our group visited Shaiman Island again. There was a church there. It was an "official" Christian church in China which means it is accepted and "governed" by the country. The service was in Chinese and it was a woman speaking (preaching?). The door was open so we just peeked inside but decided not to stay. So we walked around the Island and then came back to the hotel. We walked to Starbucks for a late lunch (scone and muffin) and walked to a nice grocery store not too far away. When we were getting ready to leave it was pouring rain so we hung around until the rain let up a little and then booked it back to the hotel.

The language barrier in China is unbelievable. It's not the same as an English/Spanish gap. We couldn't have taken a cab back in the rain because we really couldn't communicate with the driver to take us to the Asia International Hotel. Every time we take a cab we have to have a little card with our destinations written in Chinese.

Last night we ate at a Japanese restaurant in our hotel. It was tasty and so much cheaper than in the states. Shawn ordered sushi and a 4 or 5 course meal. Selah and I ate noodles (her favorite) in soup with roasted pork and veggies. Our total bill after tax and tip was less than $15. I'm getting a little weary of eating out or snacking for every meal. Especially now that we have a baby with us. We have yet to see a functioning high chair.

The other night when we were walking back from the store there were several children (ages 3-6ish) walking the streets with a parent begging us for money. One little boy latched on hard to one of our bags and wouldn't let go. Shawn persisted though and the boy finally let go. I don't think he would have been too happy with a bag of green tea. It is so hard to be gracious when you're asked for money every block. At least we can pray.

How I miss our little boys Easton and Jonas! It is hard for me to hear their little voices when we call home. It makes me miss them more. I miss knowing what they're eating for breakfast and lunch...the little things. I'm so thankful I can stay at home with them regularly. It sounds like they are having a good time with their grandparents though, and it is so comforting to know that they are being well taken care of and loved. Thank you again Grandmas and Grandpa and Granddad! We can't wait for Selah to meet the boys.

This morning our paperwork was reviewed by the Consulate so we had to wait around our hotel room in case they needed to call us with any questions. This afternoon Shawn and I took a cab to a different shopping area and got Selah a couple traditional outfits and trinkets that are significant to China. Then we went to a museum and saw some beautiful Chinese folk art and sculpture. Our group ate at Thai restaurant tonight called The Banana Leaf. It was fun and good food. We ate family style.

Tomorrow we have a swearing in ceremony and group picture, but most of our time is free. We'll need to pack and repack. Everyone is getting excited about coming home. The time has gone by quickly since we have had a pretty full schedule. But it is getting tiring living out of a suitcase and boiling all our drinking water and washing bowls and spoons and bottle parts and then sterilizing them with boiling water since the faucet water is so dangerous. Time is spent looking for extra Cheerios somewhere in the suitcase, preparing Selah's food to take in our backpack while we're out for our appointments, making sure we have enough Chinese yuan (money), getting out our paperwork and then locking it back up in the safe...

Selah has been such a trooper. She hasn't been able to have a normal schedule since we're on the go so much. Fortunately, she'll nap in my hip carrier while we're out and about. We have only had her a week now but it seems like she has been a part of the Young family forever. We can't stop kissing her and smiling at her. Yes, I know our love may be very carnal right now because we think she is cute, but nevertheless our affection toward her hasn't been any different (in our experience) from our affection toward our two boys. The Lord gave us our boys just as He has given us Selah to raise. None of our children come from us, but from Him.

It is a little strange being here in China with a group of Americans, all with our Chinese daughters. We do get a lot of looks. But, can you imagine being in a park in America and whole bus full of Chinese pulls up. They get off with American babies strapped to their side and they are talking to them in Chinese and getting ready to take them back to China to raise? Its just a bit of a strange thing. This One-Child policy. I haven't been able to understand it in being here just two weeks.

Selah and Shawn are asleep so I'll sign off now. Please pray that we'll have a smooth trip home. I think we travel for about 24 hours again. I need to start praying that Selah will be able to sleep on the planes. Only two more days until we're home!

Shots from Nanning and Guangzhou

2006-11-25T05:16:00.000-08:00

Guangzhou

2006-11-25T00:02:00.000-08:00

We have arrived at the final stop on our trip. We are now in Guangzhou. We are staying at a very nice hotel. Our breakfast every morning is on the 45th floor revolving restaurant to give you some idea of the posh nature of this place.

Yesterday in Nanning Shawn and I ventured out to Wal-Mart alone to buy some gifts for our daughter's orphanage. I can't tell you how much fun it was knowing that everything we purchased was greatly appreciated and will be used. I bought lots of pink clothes and shoes. In Selah's referral pictures she had on a blue shirt and pants outfit with the words "For my little boy". Some of the other girls were wearing blue too--nothing wrong with blue, but pink just seems more fitting. The cab fare to Wal-Mart was less than $1.00. So cheap.

We ate lunch at a really good Chinese restaurant (the menu had soups with shark guts, shark fin, baby seahorse --the whole thing, head and all, and turtle to name a few items) and had scallops and chicken. The three of us were the only westerners there. Hmm....

Then we headed to the airport to fly to Guangzhou. We checked in and as we were getting on a shuttle to head to our propeller plane, the airline stopped one of the families in our group and said that there was one baby too many for our plane. Apparently they only had enough extra air masks for nine babies and not ten. Our guide Maggie stood arguing with the airline for 1&1/2 hours as we stood on the shuttle. In the end, the extra family had to stay behind and take a later flight but Maggie was able to get them a nice dinner and some cash for their trouble. Then once we got to the actual airplane the stewardesses had us switch up our seats and took us one by one on the plane. Meanwhile all the moms had to stand out on the runway in the sprinkling rain with our babies as they seated us. It was a bit of a mess but I hope our patience was a testimony of the Lord's presence in us. You never know. Poor Maggie was in tears as she finally got on the plane. She is a very hard worker and has taken such good care of us this whole trip. As has our other guide Rosa. Please pray that God would pour out His mercy and grace to these two dear ladies. Rosa is single and Maggie is married and has a 7 year old son. They both live in Beijing.

The whole culture of this trip is very strange. Yesterday started out with Rosa announcing, "Today is a very happy day because of all the babies have now pooped!" Where else are you going to hear that on an international trip? Actually, the trauma and change are hard on our babies' digestive systems. Some babies were just miserable and unable to go to the bathroom. Interestingly, some of the 14 and 18 month olds are pretty much potty trained. Most babies don't wear diapers in China. Just split pants. Even with Selah, if we pull her legs up and say "ssshhh" in her ear she will try to go poopoo and will let out any gas. I think we're going to let her regress to diapers though.

So we got to our hotel late last night. This morning we took a bus as a group to Shaiman Island which is part of Guangzhou. We had our babies' visa pictures taken and also had their physical examinations done. Selah weighs a healthy 19lbs. The clinic was so crowded. Every Chinese baby adopted must have their exams done here, I believe. Then we shopped on the Island. Shopping here is not at all like shopping in the U.S. When you enter a store there is a saleswoman who follows you and tries to sell you items the whole time. It can be quite exhausting. If you want to purchase something you must enter into the bargaining time. It isn't a quick, "will you take...?" Many back and forths and reasons why we should pay less and they think you should pay more. It truly is tiring. And then there is the walking out of the store when they won't give you your price and their coming after you just before you step out to bargain again. At the check out time they have reasons why they gave you such a "good" price. We "were the first customer of the day". The tea broker "doesn't care about earning money, only spreading healthy Chinese tea all over the world." :) You have to take everything with a grain of salt. And of course we have "such a beautiful, happy baby from the same area I come from."

We ate at McDonalds this afternoon. Selah had her first taste of ice cream I think. She didn't know what to think of it. Now Selah is taking a nap and Shawn is filling out more paperwork.

Selah has been such a trooper. She did great on the plane and has been happy as we have taken her from place to place. I have a little hip carrier that straps her to my side. She loves it and will even take naps in it.

Going to sleep at night has taken awhile the past couple nights. I can tell Selah is used to some sort of routine with her foster mom, but we can't quite figure it out. She wants me to lay down with her on the bed, but there's something missing. She likes me to rub her back and hold her too. We'll get something figured out. In the meantime, I can't say we mind spending an hour soothingly talking and singing to her. She sucks her thumb, holds her blanket, and makes a cute, "agul, agul, agul" sound. She is very fond of Shawn's attention and will often hold out her hand for him to kiss. She loves that. She is playing peek-a-boo with us, too, by holding her blanket up over her head and then pulling it down. Her personality is coming out more and more each day. She is truly a girl and loves her shoes. She doesn't like me taking them off.

We're off to a grocery store and then Starbucks. I have to say we have savored the jasmine and green teas but brewed coffee sounds great! We'll post more pictures when we find time.

Nanning Days 3 & 4

2006-11-23T04:32:00.000-08:00

The First of Many

2006-11-22T23:37:00.000-08:00

Parenting mistakes, that is. Last night after supper as I was holding Selah to get her to sleep, she threw up all over herself and me. We had given her too much to eat yesterday! Our agency told us that many times the babies eat a lot and that is a normal part of their transition. So yesterday I gave her 3 bottles (anxious to get her on formula) instead of her one bottle, some cherry juice, goldfish crackers, rice cereal, and when Shawn and I were eating our room service supper Selah really wanted more noodles-so she ate a bunch of them too. Not a good plan. The good news is that she fell asleep right after she threw up. The bad news was that we had to clean up the chair, carpet, and I did laundry in the bathtub last night (so glad I brought some Tide along). I'm not sure the clothes and blanket are going to dry before we fly to Guangzhou tomorrow. It is very humid here.

One thing I wanted to say about the past couple of days but forgot to say is how kind the orphanage directors seemed. They were so sincerely happy for these girls to be with their new families. They were as giddy as us parents. It was touching to me. You could tell they loved the girls too.

Selah is so much bigger than the others. I thought maybe she was older than 10 months old. But I learned that their birthdays can be pretty accurately guessed by looking at their umbilical cord when they are found. Her estimated birthday is January 8th.

This morning we went to a beautiful park in the city. It reminded me of Central Park NYC, but the trees were more beautifully shaped and the flowers were vibrant in color. We walked around and one of our moms was busted by the "clothing police". That is, an elderly woman came up and pulled down her daughter's pants so the 1/2 inch of skin between her pants and socks weren't showing and put her blanket around head. Chinese women especially believe in bundling babies with multiple layers of clothing. We had been warned of this. One Chinese woman stopped one of the mom's wearing shorts and was talking to her in Chinese about wearing shorts. The mom, not the baby was wearing the shorts. Some older Chinese men and women had an electronic keyboard with microphone on one of the covered bridges. When we came by they started playing and singing "O Suzanna" in Chinese. They encouraged us to sing it in English. It was a fun time.

It was so neat to see so many of the retired community out exercising, dancing, singing, walking, and enjoying community with one another. You don't see this in America outside of a retirement home or nursing home. Not on an ordinary Thursday morning. Once we are too old to drive our cars we lose so much community with one another. Just thinking out loud.

At the park was that we saw many little toddlers out with their grandparents and parents. The sad part is that we saw twice as many boys as we saw girls. We walked a long way before we even saw one little girl. We had them!

Tonight we go to Pizza Hut for our Thanksgiving meal. It has been fun to be around the other families. I had expected most of the families to be from broadly evangelical churches, but our group is very diverse with Methodists, Missouri Synod Lutheran, PCA, Christian, etc. Another thing that has surprised us is that we expected most families to be from the upper middle class, with the high cost of adoption. But that is definitely not the case. Most are here with their church's support, savings emptied, and garage sale find clothing for the girls.

Last Sunday we were able to worship at an international Christian Church in Beijing. We had to have our passport to get in. It was only for foreigners. It was so moving to worship with about 600 people from literally all over the world. It was emotional to see a picture of what our eternal home will be like. We were able to pray with an Indian woman and her daughter sitting next to us in worship. I loved it that when we said goodbye to her I knew it was only temporary. Even though we only got 10 minutes to talk and pray with this woman, we will see her again. The goodbye really felt like a "see you later".

The sermon was more like teaching than preaching, but the blood of Christ being shed for us poor sinners to make payment for our sin against God was included in the sermon. The teaching itself wasn't bad. The pastor preached on Acts 4:32 "No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but shared everything they had." How this passage made me miss being with our church family. How good God has been to us to place us among you at Heritage. We have been on the receiving end of this passage from our church family and biological families. It's overwhelming that all of you have loved Selah before even seeing her. How blessed is she that so many have been involved in bringing her home. We can hardly wait for her baptism. I can't tell you how many times I have looked at her and heard in my mind the words, "Selah Anne Young, daughter of the covenant, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, sealed with Christ forever."

Selah is doing well again today. She is playful and cuddly. We gave her a pacifier today. I think she liked it. At least she sucked on it for awhile. She loves to tear up paper and play peekaboo. She is fighting a bit of a cold but I think all the babies are. She loves watermelon. It is a hit among all the girls. It's really sweet here.
Time to go eat our Supreme Pan pizza. The Chinese eat just about everything that can possibly be eaten. But no turkey. Our guides checked all over to try and find any form of turkey meat. Nothing. Happy Thanksgiving all! Grandma Young, put some leftovers in the freezer for us! :)

More thoughts...

2006-11-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

It is Wednesday afternoon here. Selah and Shawn are playing on the floor. Shawn is SMITTEN! I can't tell you how many times I have nodded to him saying, "She's so sweet!" It's cute. The Lord has given us a love for Selah just as he has for Easton and Jonas. A faltering, imperfect love, but she is OURS to raise and love, thanks to God. She is as much a part of our family as we are truly a part of God's family by adoption through Jesus Christ.

Selah is adjusting so well. Really, everyone is asking us why she is doing so well. It certainly isn't our great parenting skills. Could it be the Lord gave us two years of waiting to petition Him almost every night that He would prepare Selah to be a part of our family? I can offer no other explanation other than answer to yours and our prayers.

Not all the babies are so happy. A couple of them have been crying for about 48hours straight. Just stopping to sleep on and off. Most of the babies were very close to their orphanage nannies or foster mothers. They're going through a grieving period. Some have never been around or seen men before. Some scream even louder when their dads look at them. Selah has yet to really cry other than the tears the other night. She is full of more smiles today. She says "Mama, Dada, Nana (banana)" I don't know if she really knows the meanings, but she is saying the words. She definitely recognizes her name (Selah) already.

All of the babies' heads are flat on the back. They don't sleep on mattresses, only hard planks in their cribs. Even in our hotel crib, it is just a hard plank. But Selah likes it. It is what she is used to. One of girls will only sleep with her nose buried on the floor of her hotel room on the yucky carpet. Her name is Kiersten. Poor little one is only sleeping 15 minutes at a time and her mom has to sit on the floor with her the whole night. This is an intense welcome to motherhood for her first time mom.

Selah likes her bottle hot. Hot, like almost as hot as I drink my coffee. I had heard this is common. O.K. all you fellow Baby-Wise moms out there...get a load of Selah's schedule as reported by her foster mother: Selah wakes at 5:00a.m. and eats noodles and eggs. She eats congee (this is just white rice boiled with water to make "soup") at 8:00a.m. and then sleeps until 9:00a.m. She takes another nap from 11:30a.m. to 12:30p.m. and eats congee again. She naps again from 2:00 to 4:00 and eats congee again at 6:00. Finally at 9:00 she gets a bottle (that's right, one bottle a day--I'm guessing her foster mom couldn't afford it) of formula mixed with rice cereal. She goes to bed at 9:30p.m. and is used to sleeping with her foster mom. Wow. Just thought some of you moms might be interested to see that things are done differently in different places.

Yesterday afternoon we went to Super Wal-Mart. At 3:00 on a Tuesday afternoon it was like the morning after Thanksgiving. People everywhere. Hard to maneuver the cart--although the cart had extra wheels so that it could roll side to side as well as straight ahead! It was two stories and full of things we've never seen before: dried fish and meats hanging all over, live turtles (not for pets), a whole cut up chicken includes the head, all sorts of unidentifiable meats and food stuff. We received a lot of stares. It was a bit chaotic with loud music blaring inside, and it was so hot we were sweating. But we were able to buy diapers and wipes and bottled water plus a few other items all for less than $12.00. Wal-mart is still the lowest prices--even in China.

With China's one child policy it is hard to understand how there are so many people. There are people, people everywhere!

Today we went to a local museum and learned a bit more about the culture of our daughter's province, Guangxi. Brass drums are a big thing here historically. They are what the warriors plundered when they won battles with another village. They are sacred-like historically. We saw many beautifully woven tapestries, too.

Tomorrow we visit a park. Oh yeah. It is Thanksgiving here tomorrow. I think we all are going to go to Pizza Hut for our Thanksgiving meal. How awful is that? But I wouldn't trade having Selah for a turkey meal. We indeed are very thankful. Thanks for all of your kind comments. It is so good to hear from our family and friends. We are excited to come home soon.

Highlights

2006-11-21T22:27:00.000-08:00

Thoughts from Nanning

2006-11-21T04:08:00.000-08:00

I finally have the time to share our gotcha day experience and a little bit about our dear daughter who is sleeping in the crib next to our desk. Shawn is finishing his Chinese meal from room service. He has enjoyed the constant flow of Chinese food the most of anyone in the group and I'm probably second behind him. It has been tasty! I just finished my 4th cup of tea for the day. China is lovely. SO different from Oklahoma, but we have so enjoyed our time here learning a little about Selah's birth place.

So yesterday afternoon around 3:00p.m., we all loaded up on the bus and drove to the Civil Affairs Office which was like a hotel. We went to the 4th floor and went into a reception room--an empty room with wood floors. As soon as we stepped off the elevator we could hear many babies crying. One of the directors of the Civil Affairs office greeted us and thanked us for our love for these babies and announced that the nannies would begin bringing them in one at a time and calling out their Chinese names. We would then step forward and receive our child. So one by one the babies came in and one by one the room got louder and louder with crying as the nannies handed the babies to their new parents. Any crying that we parents were doing was drowned out by the wailing babies. There were 10 of us families and after the ninth baby came in Shawn and I were still left without Selah. And then her orphanage director said "Guo Si Qin", her Chinese name, and a nanny came through the door with a sleeping baby. Selah was sound asleep. At this point the room was mass chaos with pictures being taken, babies screaming (one threw up all over her mom she was crying so hard), and there was our Selah making the most peaceful transition to her new mom and dad. She didn't even stir amidst all the noise. For the next 30 minutes our two wonderful Chinese guides, Maggie and Rosa, went around from family to family with their daughter's orphanage director and answered any questions we had or told us anything specific the directors knew about our daughter. We were told that Selah had been with her foster mom until yesterday (usually they go back to the orphanage 3 weeks before gotcha day). She is called "Kung Kung", eats mostly regular food, and is just about ready to walk on her own. I think Selah is the biggest girl out of our whole group, which is amazing because she is 10 months old and all the other girls are 13 to 18 months old. She was well fed!

As we walked to the lobby getting ready to leave Shawn was holding Selah, and she opened one eye, gave us a look, and went right back to sleep. We decided she probably thought she was just having a bad dream and went back to sleep. Some white skinned strangers were taking her away! :)

So we got on the bus and came back to the hotel. As we got into our hotel lobby Selah finally woke up. She just sat up and looked at us a lot. She didn't fuss or whimper. Just looked at us. We came back to the room and put her on our bed and gave her some of her new toys. She seemed to like them. Then she wanted to get down and explore the room a little bit. She played peek a boo with Shawn and started smiling. She really liked that game. She kept coming over to him to play. She likes walking holding onto our hands but she will take a few steps on her own too. She is very curious, likes to sweetly babble, and is so sweet natured. She doesn't really favor Shawn or me. She likes to come to us both equally.

At 6:30p.m. we had to have an official family photo taken in the lobby. Most of the babies in our group had spent the past 3 hours crying. After the photo Shawn had a good bit of paperwork to do. I gave Selah a bottle using the soy formula I brought with me. The formula she had in her hometown is locally made and we aren't able to get it. She loved her bottle. Many of the babies aren't taking their bottles. They aren't used to American-style bottles.

I patted her back and she fell asleep in my arms around 7:30p.m. She woke up at 1:30a.m. crying for a few seconds until I picked her up. I put her on my lap, Shawn turned on a light and she just stuck her lower lip out and tears flowed down her cheeks. She wasn't making any noise, just tears. It was so sad! But after about 2 minutes of tears, she buried her face into her blanket and I put her back into her crib. She slept soundly until we had to wake her up at 8:00a.m.

She was in great mood when she woke up. Happy. We went downstairs for breakfast and I tried to get her to eat peaches and congee (a rice porridge). Her foster mother said she loved fruit and congee. But she would only eat noodles. She loved them!

So then today we had to take our $3100 in perfect condition US $100 bills and gifts to the nannies and office directors with us back to the Civil Affairs Lottery office. We had two different interviews. The first interview was very emotional for me. We had to sit before an official. She asked us how last night went with our daughter, why we wanted to adopt her, what were our plans for her life, and if we promised to never abandon or abuse her. Selah's orphanage director and a nanny were present for the interview too. The nanny took quite a few pictures of us with Selah during the interview (I think to show her foster mother). Then we had to sign some official documents, show our passports, and thumbprint our signatures. The ladies were very pleased when Shawn said during interview that we thought Chinese girls were very beautiful.

Selah's orphanage director gave Shawn and I a gift which was the best gift we could have been given. It was a photo album with about 10 photos of Selah taken over the past 7 months. We couldn't believe it. There are three photos of Selah with her foster mother. I am so thankful for that. I was able to send a gift with the orphanage director to give to her foster mother and was assured that I could send photos to the orphanage when we get home and they would get them to her foster mother too. This was an answer to prayer as China desires no contact between foster parents and adoptive parents. We had been told that this wouldn't be possible.

How do you thank the woman who cared for your baby for 7 months? And then lets her go never to see her again?

I need to end here...Selah is needing to be held in order to get to sleep. How blessed am I that the Lord has allowed me that privilege?

Selah Day 2

2006-11-21T04:02:00.000-08:00

Gotcha Day

2006-11-20T05:36:00.000-08:00

Nanning

2006-11-19T22:14:00.000-08:00

We're here Nanning! We go to a Civil Affairs office in 23 Minutes to pick up Selah. We just got into our room an hour ago. Seeing a baby crib in our room was a REALITY CHECK. Boom- Here's your daughter! We've been packing our backpack full of toys, diapers, etc. I just boiled water and put in into our thermos for her bottle! It's really going to happen. I have a feeling there is going to be a lot of tears on our 15 minute bus ride to the office. The ten families here are full of anticipation like us. We left our Hotel in Beijing at 5:30a.m. this morning and flew 3and1/2 hours to Nanning. The city here looks very poor, but the flowers and tropical trees are lush, just like Florida. It is raining off and on.

After we get Selah we'll go to a store and buy her formula. She comes with only the clothes she is wearing. We'll also fill out some paperwork there. Hope to post pictures soon. Hopefully tonight or tomorrow. Our internet connection is better here than in Beijing. Thank you again for your prayers. Time to go!

From Beijing (Day 2)

2006-11-18T16:54:00.000-08:00

Hi all! I only have about 5 minutes before we leave for worship and then the Great Wall. We have had a great time here in Beijing. Yesterday we were out from 9 am to 9pm. We toured the emperor's summer palace, went to a pearl factory and were able to buy some nice jewelry to give to Selah to celebrate her "Gotcha Day". We're getting little gifts to give her for the next 18 years to celebrate the day we actually got her. Then it was on to the Forbidden City (the Emperor's main palace ) , Tienamen Square, a very authentic Chinese dinner and then an acrobatic show. It was a wonderfully full day.

We have enjoyed getting to know the 9 other families we are traveling with. They are from all over. One of our fellow families is a PCA pastor, too, in Maryland. The food has been good, the air is very smokey everywhere...the culture is so different but being in a city is still city life not unlike American cities. Just so many more people and bikes and foods we've never seen...like Hawthorn kebobs. Fruit on a stick. Wish we had more time to post. We will once we get Selah tomorrow!!!! Thank you again for your prayers. We know we are being prayed for. Love to you all.

Made it to Tokyo

2006-11-16T23:29:00.000-08:00

Well, we made it to Tokyo. We are waiting for our connecting flight to Beijing. We have been traveling for about 20 hours. The flight from Detroit to Tokyo was long but we were able to sleep some. We watched The Devil Wears Prada and Disney's The Wild (parents, pass on this one for your kids--it was bad). We just had pork fried rice for breakfast on the plane along with a blueberry muffin, orange juice, and green tea. We have met up with four other families who are adopting from China with our adoption agency. We're wearing blue shirts to identify each other. All four families are traveling with their older children (ages range from 7 to 15). This last leg of travel is about 3 hours. As long as this day has been we are so thankful to be moving forward toward Selah. We still can't believe the long wait is almost over. We thank you for your prayers. The trip has been smooth so far.

Travel Itinerary

2006-11-08T15:27:00.000-08:00

November 16th to 29th

Thur. 11/16: Depart for Beijing
Fri. 11/17: Arrive in Beijing
Sat. 11/18: Beijing Sight-seeing

Tiananmen Square
Forbidden City
Summer Palace

Sun. 11/19: Church and the Great Wall
Mon. 11/20:

Morning: flight to Guangxi
Afternoon: Meet Selah

Tues. 11/21 to Thurs. 11/23: Paperwork, sight-seeing and shopping
Fri. 11/24: Afternoon flight to Guangzhou
Sat. 11/25 & Sun. 11/26: More paperwork and Selah's medical exam
Mon. 11/27: Morning appointment with U.S. Consulate
Tues. 11/28: Pick up Selah's Visa
Wed. 11/29: Fly home

Prayer

2006-11-07T07:56:00.000-08:00

We have been acutely aware of the Lord's gracious response to prayer throughout our adoption process. We would not have been able to adopt Selah except for God's faithfulness in response to prayer. We have seen Him provide the finances to adopt--finances that were not in sight when we began praying. We have seen Him answer very specific prayers, such as that Selah would be in foster care. We are deeply indebted to all of you who have been praying for us, and we want you to know that the Lord has answered in countless ways.

A number of people have asked how they can pray for our trip. Here are some ways we would ask you to pray:

Pray that the Lord would give us wisdom as we bring Selah into our family, and that we would be faithful to train her in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
Pray that we would be patient and gracious in our travels, and that we would be an encouragement to those with whom we are traveling.
Pray that the Lord would cause Selah to bond quickly with our family.
Pray for safety and health for the three of us as we travel.
Pray for Easton and Jonas as we are away from them.
Pray for Grandma and Granddad Johnson and Grandma and Grandpa Young as they stay with Easton and Jonas.

Jonas

2006-11-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

We're hoping to be able to post some video clips from China. I needed to make sure I knew how to do that, and Jonas obliged by hamming it up for the camera. Enjoy!

We Have Plane Tickets!

2006-11-02T14:02:00.000-08:00

Our travel plans are all set, and we have bought our international flights. We will be flying out of Oklahoma City on Thursday November 16th, and will return Wednesday November 29th.

Travel Approval Has Arrived

2006-10-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

For the last month we have been awaiting our "travel approval." That's a document from the Chinese government that tells us when we can travel to China to pick up Selah. We received word from our agency yesterday that our travel approval has arrived. The last major scheduling hurdel is to get an appointment with the U.S. Consulate where we will complete adoption paperwork for the U.S. government. Once we have that appointment, we will have firm travel dates. However, it's likely we will depart for China on November 16th, and return between November 29th and December 2nd.

Travel Dates

2006-10-02T20:42:00.001-07:00

We received notification today that our tenative departure date will be November 23rd (Thanksgiving Day). We will be in China 13-15 days. However, our agency notes that there is a 50% chance that this date could change. On a separate note, several people have commented (independently) on the strong resemblance between Selah and Jonas. Jennifer and I looked again at the pictures of Jonas we sent to China. Those pictures of Jonas and Selah's pictures (below) do bear a striking resemblance. We wonder if that was a major factor in Selah being matched with us.

What Next?

2006-10-02T07:32:00.000-07:00

Now that we have received our referral, we have another round of paperwork to complete. This round includes applying for visas, reapplying for a document that has expired, and making travel arrangements. Our agency will be handling most of the travel details, and we are thankful for that. This is also the leg of the journey when the bulk of our financial responsibilities will be discharged. We hope to travel in about six to eight weeks from now.

Our trip to China will be about two weeks. The first few days will be spent in Beijing acclamating to China, and learning what we can of the history and culture. From there we will travel to Guanxi province (the very Southern part of China), where we will pick up Selah! Well spend a few days in Guanxi to complete paperwork, and sightsee in Selah's home province. From there we head to Guangzhou. We will also have a few days in Guangzhou where we will complete paperwork with American consulate.

More Pics

2006-09-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

These are the rest of the pictures we received in our referral packet from our agency.

Meet Selah!

2006-09-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

It's so good to have a picture! Isn't she beautiful? The reports are that she is quiet. That should be very novel for us. We are so thankful to the Lord.

What We Know So Far

2006-09-25T18:30:00.000-07:00

We received THE CALL from our agency this afternoon. Our daughter was born January 8th, 2006 in Guangxi province, which is the very southern part of China (weather like Florida). She is in a foster home which is a gracious answer to our prayers for her. She weighed 15lbs at 6months old. Her given name is Csi Qin Guo. We will receive pictures tomorrow morning! We are thrilled!

No Way!

2006-09-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

The office in China that processes adoptions has just updated their website, and our log-in date has been included in the batch of referrals that has been sent! We expect that tomorrow (Monday September 24th) we will receive details about our daughter from our agency. We can't believe it!

Research-China

2006-08-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

This blog (click on title) recently appeared on my radar screen, and I thought some of you might be interested. The blogger writes, "The intent of my blog is to educate adoptive parents about Chinese culture, China adoption, and other aspects of their child's early life in China." It provides essays that specifically address questions that people ask me. Enjoy.

Referrals

2006-08-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

Referrals have been given to familes logged into the CCAA 7/13/05 and earlier. I know this is confusing language unless you are living in the world of adopting from China--see my blog from March 2nd, 2006 for an explanation of "referral."

There's a chance--only a chance mind you--that we could receive a referral as early as this month (i.e. August). Apparently there are fewer dossiers than normal logged in during the month of August 2005, and we are one of those. If it's true that there are fewer at the beginning of August, then there's at least a chance that we may be included in the next batch. If not in August, then hopefully in September. This is great motivation to get our paperwork all up to date! Thank you so much for your prayers, and please continue to pray for us and for little Selah.

Warning!

2006-07-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

Our adoption agency, America World gives weekly region specific updates (linked in the title) . Last week's China update (July 21st) is a good reminder of the need for restraint in considering internet rumors. Jennifer and I have learned not to put too much stock in them. But that doesn't keep us from enjoying them anyway! It helps to pass the time while we're waiting.

Rumors!

2006-07-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

The latest rumors are that the CCAA will make referrals to families logged in to their office through July 13th of 2005. Our log in date (aka LID) is August 8th, 2005. It's still impossible to really tell when our referral might come.

Meanwhile, in Oklahoma adoption home studies are good for one year. Ours expired in April, and it's time to update it. Our social worker visited us on this past Tuesday to update our information. We will also have to update things like background checks, doctor's physicals (us and the boys), and fingerprints.

Jennifer's new favorite website is the "Rumor Queen" (click on the title to visit!).

Almost Two Weeks!

2006-06-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

The CCAA recently gave referals for almost two weeks--for dossiers logged in through June 28th, 2005. Our log in date was in early August 2005, so we are definitely getting closer! As I mentioned in the last post, it's impossible to know for sure when we will receive our referral. But we are excited to know that we are a little bit closer!

Delays Continue

2006-06-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

When we began the paperwork to adopt from China, the CCAA was processing a month's worth of dossiers each month (they usually sent referrals about seven months after receiving the dossier). That rate has apparently slowed so that they are currently processing about one week's worth of dossiers each month. In case that makes no sense to you whatsoever I'll try to translate. It means that at the current pace, we are probably looking at being matched with a little girl early 2007.

Of course our hope is that the CCAA might speed up the pace. If that happens our referral could come earlier. People are always asking why things have slowed down. The truth is that we're not entirely sure. From what we gather, the CCAA officially attributes the slow down to relocating and expanding their offices. There are always rumors floating around that say the slow down is caused by other things. We really have no way of knowing for sure.

When we began this process, we knew these types of things could happen. The Lord is certainly using this to train us in patience and in contentment with His timing . Please pray that we would learn these lessons well. Pray also that the Lord would prepare us to receive the little girl He has for us, and that He would also prepare her for us. I'm reminded of Proverbs 13.12:

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

PF Changs?

2006-04-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

Today while running errands Jennifer drove past PF Changs (chinese restaurant). Curious, Easton asked, "Is that where Selah's paperwork is being processed?" We wish! And no, I'm not making this up. That was a direct quote--word for word. Oh yes and, Lord willing, we are planning to name our daughter Selah.

Now All We Need Is a Baby

2006-04-12T20:44:00.000-07:00

That was Jennifer's comment after moving our crib into our daughter's room. She found a great deal on an unused designer crib set at a baby consignment sale. After having two boys she's secretly excited about girly girl stuff. The boys got a new (used--another bargain find by Jennifer) bunk bed set this weekend, and that prompted us to move the crib over to the baby room. Next step: paint the baby's room. The boy's room needs painting too. There's plenty to keep us busy while we wait!

Still More Waiting

2006-03-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

We were disappointed to hear today that the projected wait time has again increased. Estimates are now that the time from login to referral will be 11 to 12 months. When we began the process the time from login to referral was about 7 months. Lots of rumors are flying, but the CCAA is reporting that they haven't yet completed their move. For anyone feeling the need to be disabused of any illusion of being in control of life I heartily recommend adoption.

On the otherhand, we were encouraged to hear yesterday that our dossier has been sent to the referral room. That's great news for us because it implies that our paperwork has been approved by the CCAA for referral. We are extremely thankful for that, and somehow it does help us to wait.

Crisp & Clean

2006-03-16T20:32:00.000-08:00

Our adoption agency has a Yahoo Group that's a great source of information for us. I got a kick out of a recent post. Part of every adoption from China is making a donation to the orphanage from which you are adopting. It's all above board and official--nothing "under the table."

Well, it seems that its crucial to make sure that you are well supplied with brand new, crisp, clean $100 bills for this donation (quite of few of them I might add!). I can't imagine, after all that's required to complete the adoption, jeopardizing it by presenting "dirty money." The person making this post went on to suggest beginning to collect the money a couple of months in advance because these pristine $100 bills apparently aren't so easy to come by.

OK...Maybe June

2006-03-02T19:56:00.000-08:00

First, a couple of terms to define:
1. log in date: the date that paperwork is officially logged into the CCAA (see #2)
2. CCAA: China Center for Adoption Affairs; the Chinese government office that processes adoptions
3. referral: the matching of a child in China with the family seeking to adopt

So, our family coordinator at our adoption agency says that it looks like the CCAA is processing adoptions in about nine months. Our log in date was August, so that means we might receive our referral in June. If you've followed our story, you know by now that none of this is an exact science. June is now our best guess, but as always, it could easily be later.

On Waiting

2006-02-28T15:14:00.000-08:00

I want to thank all of you who have been keeping up with us on the progress of our adoption. I don't have much new to report. We are still waiting! Many of you are aware that the Chinese New Year began on January 29th, 2006. Just as many Americans take off work during the Christmas/New Year holiday, so things shut down significantly in China for the New Year. The work of processing adoptions shuts down as well.

As of today, no referrals came in February. Because of Chinese New Year that's not unexpected. Every indication is that there will be referrals on the way shortly. To give you an idea of how this process works you can think of standing in line. It's kind of like we are in line watching those in front of us. As they receive referrals, that means we are moving forward in the line. We continue to hope that we might find out who we've been matched with in May. We would then most likely travel in July.

Waiting isn't easy. The fact of the matter is that I want what I want right now. As we wait to be notified about the little girl we hope to adopt, I've had to constantly remind myself that the delay we're experiencing looks to be pretty short in the big picture. In the big picture, waiting a few months is nothing! What's a few months compared to this little girl's lifetime (Lord willing many years)?

One Step Closer

2006-01-27T19:36:00.000-08:00

This week our adoption agency (see link) received referrals for 39 healthy girls ("referral" is the term used to signify the matching of a child with a family). Although we were not among those 39 families that received referrals, we rejoice with them. And it does mean that we're one step closer. At this point we're just glad to see that the people in front of us in the line (so to speak) are getting their referrals. As I mentioned in the last post, we are probably looking at a referral in May at the earliest. The process is moving forward!

They Say the Darndest Things

2006-01-22T16:17:00.000-08:00

The other day our oldest son Easton saw a picture of Jennifer and I shortly after we were married. He proceeded to ask, "Where was I mommy? Was I in your tummy?" Jennifer let him know he wasn't yet in her tummy at that point. So he responded, "Was I in China?"

Still Waiting

2006-01-20T09:57:00.000-08:00

The length of time between this post and the previous one reflects the fact that we don't have much to report right now. Yesterday, Jennifer read that the CCAA (office that processes adoptions in China) has reviewed dossiers through June of last year. We consider that great news. Since our dossier was logged into their office in August, they should be getting closer to reviewing ours.

That being said, there have not been any referrals since December due to the expansion and relocation of the CCAA's offices. We are hopeful referrals will be forthcoming soon. In the mean time, we continue to wait and pray. I have been reminding myself that in the big picture a few months isn't going to make a whole lot of difference. We had hoped to receive a referral in February if the CCAA offices hadn't gone through their expansion and relocation. Our best guess right now is that we might receive a referral as early as May.

The Latest Rumors

2005-11-09T19:43:00.000-08:00

Our adoption agency notified us yesterday that the office in China that processes adoptions is expanding and relocating offices. The move and expansion will mean that their ability to process will slow down in the short run. In the long run it will allow them to increase their capacity, which is certainly a good thing. Although the process has generally been taking six to seven months from the time paperwork was logged into their office, it's estimated to take nine to ten months during this time of expansion. We're not entirely sure how this will affect us, but as you can imagine it's not the news we were hoping to hear. We'll keep you posted!

Moving Forward

2005-10-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

This past week we received notification from Shaohannah's Hope (see link) that we have received a grant from them to help with our adoption expenses! Shaohannah's Hope is a foundation of the Steven Curtis Chapman family to provide financial assistance to families seeking to adopt. We are extremely thankful for the work they are doing. We continue to be humbled by the Lord's provision through a number of sources for us to be able to pursue this adoption at this time.

In other news, the buzz within our adoption agency is that referrals from the CCAA (the Chinese Government agency that processes adoptions) have slowed down recently. We had hoped that we might receive a referral in February or March 2006 and travel around April. However, right now it looks like we may not receive a referral until April or May. There really is no way to predict for sure. Meanwhile, we are trying to wait patiently and pray.

The Church

2005-09-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

James 1:27 (ESV)
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

In the growth of Evangelicalism, ironically, the perceived importance of the church has diminished among professing Christians. However, we would not be pursuing this adoption apart from the tremendous support we have been given by our church (see link). Not only were we given that initial financial gift (by someone in our church) that allowed us to begin this process, but we also received another significant gift from the church itself. On top of that, our church generously covered our photocopying and faxing expenses.

In fact, through this process the deacons of our church have established a special fund to help members of the church pursue adoption. They want to make sure we are a church that preaches the good news of Jesus Christ, and ministers in deed to those who are most in need of mercy. As we face all the uncertainities of adoption, we are thankful for our church. We know that we have a responsibility to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. But we also know that we can do that effectively only in the church.

Please pray with us that others in our church will pursue adoption, whether domestically or overseas.

Lost Daughters

2005-09-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

Jennifer and I both recently read The Lost Daughters of China by Karen Evans. In 1997 Evans and her husband adopted a little girl from China. This book details not only her experience through the adoption process, but also provides helpful information about the social factors that have led to so many "lost daughters" in China. I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to better understand all that is involved in adoption from China.

Evans' most valuable insight for me was her portrayl of the anguish and courage of parents (especially mothers) in China who give up their daughters for adoption. Because of China's so-called "one child policy," male children are preferred over female children. China is working to change this traditional preference for males. However, it is deeply engrained culturally because boys take care of their parents in old age, whereas girls take care of their husbands' parents. A family's security in old age thus depends upon having a male child.

The book portrays the heartache faced by mothers who are often under tremendous pressure to give up their daughters. In part this pressure comes from extended family who may insist upon giving up (or even aborting) a daughter in the hope of a future male child. Alternatively, the mother may already have existing children, and be required to flee the authorities even to give birth to the child. This book gave me a deep appreciation for the anguish faced by these women. They often face tremendous adversity to provide their daughters an opportunity for life.

Compelled by Theology

2005-09-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

Although Jennifer and I were both raised by our biological parents, our lives have been directly touched by adoption. We have been adopted into the family of God through Jesus Christ:

Romans 8:15 (ESV)
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"

In Christ, according to the above passage, we have received the Spirit of adoption. That means we were once outside God's family, but through the work of Christ we have become His children. We have been grafted into a family that we were not "naturally" born into, and it has radically changed our lives. Our own adoption into God's family compels us to pursue adopting a daughter from China.

The Bible indicates that an adopted child has the same status within the family as one who is "natural born." This principle is evident in Jesus' life. Both Matthew and Luke trace Jesus' genealogy not through Mary, but through Joseph (Matthew 1:16 and Luke 3:23ff). In other words, they establish Jesus' relationship to people like David, Abraham, and Adam through his adoptive father Joseph. Jesus' link to these figures is no small matter theologically. His pedigree, in part, identifes Him as the long-awaited Savior prophesied throughout the Older Testament. From the perspective of the inspired authors of the gospels, Jesus' geneaology was exactly the same as if he had been Joseph's biological son.

As we observe that adopted children are no different in status than biological children within the family, we are also motivated to adopt by the Lord's covenant promises. For example, Genesis 17:7-8 (ESV) says:

And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you. And I will give to you and to your offspring after you the land of your sojournings, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession, and I will be their God.

Some Christians believe that these promises applied only to the nation of Israel, and therefore cannot apply to believers now. We find no evidence in the New Testament, however, that believers in Christ have been excluded from the covenant or the promises. On the contrary under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Paul speaks of the divison between Jew and Gentile being broken down (Ephesians 2:11-22). Then he makes this striking statement:

Ephesians 3:6 (ESV)
This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel.

Both Jews and Gentiles are fellow heirs and partakers of the promise through the gospel. The covenant is of major importance throughout the Old Testament. Had God decided to set aside His covenant, we would expect explicit teaching indicating the change. We are convinced no such statement exists. On the contrary, as Peter is proclaiming the gospel at Pentecost, he affirms the pattern that has been firmly in place throughout redemptive history:

Acts 2:37-39 (ESV)
Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, "Brothers, what shall we do?" And Peter said to them, "Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself."

God's promise stands to this very day for those who are in Christ. His covenant is not only for us, but also for our children after us. It is in this hope that we are excited to adopt a daughter from China. We believe God's promise, and look forward to His work in her life, as we do for our other children.

Paper Pregnancy

2005-09-05T07:52:00.000-07:00

Make no mistake, adoption involves a lot of paperwork. America World, our adoption agency, likes to call this phase the "paper pregnancy." That is a pretty descriptive way of putting it! It requires a good deal of energy and perseverance to get through this first leg of the process. By the end let's just say we were glad to have this stage behind us.

We began by gathering all of the basic documents such as birth and marriage certificates. As we were waiting for these documents we set up our home study. The home study involved a licensed social worker interviewing us on four different occasions. She interviewed the two of us together on the first visit. This first interview was pretty thorough, covering everything from our motivation to adopt to our parenting philosophy. We met at our home so that she could walk through our house to make sure it is a safe environment for an adopted child. She was also able to observe our two boys.

The second and third visits were separate interviews of Jennifer and I. These visits covered our family backgrounds and the history of our relationship with each other. We talked a lot about how we as a couple relate to each other, and about our current family dynamics. The final visit was another interview with us together. This interview was basically about tying up whatever loose ends had not been covered previously.

The paper chase continued as we made visits to our local police station and State Bureau of Investigation for background checks and fingerprinting. We had to produce a financial statment, employment verification letters, and an application to the China Adption Affairs office. We had to have medical exams, and make a visit to the Immigration Services office. Nearly every document we gathered had to be notarized. Thankfully, a good friend from our church is a notary, and was very generous to notarize things for us.

Once the documents were gathered, they had to be sent to their state of origin to be authenticated. Then some had to be sent to the U.S. Secretary of State's office for certification. Finally, everything had to be sent to the Chinese embassy (actually in our case three separate offices) for certification. As we waded through the paperwork we faxed documents to our family coordinator at America World. She made sure everything was order. Our final step was to put together a short family picture album. When the process was over we finally sent everything off to them.

The final product that is sent to China is called the "dossier." Within just a couple of days of receiving it from us, America World sent our dossier off to China. It was logged in on August 8, 2005 in China. There are no guarantees as to how long our wait will be from this point. However, as things have been going, it will probably take six months before we would receive our "referral." The referral is notification of having been matched with a child. It includes a picture of the child and whatever information is available about the child's background.

How the Journey Began

2005-09-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

We began discussing adoption during our engagement. From that time we have prayed that the Lord might allow us to some day adopt. Over the years our desire has only grown. We have had several friends whose lives somehow have been touched by adoption. Being around these friends has strengthened our desire. For the last several years we have just been waiting for God's timing.

In the Spring of 2004 we began to do some research about adoption. Because we already had two young boys, the possibilities for a domestic adoption didn't appear very promising. At the time our boys were two and a half and almost one. The research indicated we might have difficulty adopting a baby since we already had two young boys. We didn't think it would be wise for us to adopt an older child at this stage, and that seemed to foreclose most of the options domestically. We began to investigate the international options.

As we continued to research international adoption, we began to turn our attention to China. China's process is well defined, and there is a significant need. For those reasons and many others, we eventually found ourselves attracted to China. However, at the end of our research, we realized that finances would be a barrier for us. We began to pray more fervently that the Lord would provide the finances.

Later that fall some friends in our church who knew we were praying about the possibility of adopting invited us to their home. As the evening was winding down they told us they had some exciting news: they would be giving us a financial gift so that we could begin the process. We were elated! Finances had been the only barrier. What an exciting indication that the Lord's timing had arrived.

There are so many good agencies out there to facilitate adoptions from China. Initially we narrowed our choices down to three. One soon began to stand out to us: America World Adoption Association. America World's "vision" resonated with us. It also didn't hurt that they offered pastors a 50% discount on their agency fees. We couldn't be happier with them. They have been extremely helpful to us in the process up to this point. Everyone we have interacted with at America World has been thoroughly professional, but also refreshingly encouraging.